Sine pita tatu:

• Tata, koliko su veliki majmuni?
• Pa tako, malo manji nego ja.
• Šta, nema većeg majmuna od tebe?

:rofl:

* 160 let razlike

Nekateri verjamejo, da ni vic!



ZGODILO SE JE NA DOLENJSKEM:


Pride JJ v eno gimnazijo na Dolenjskem in v razgovoru z dijaki le-te pozove, da ga vprašajo karkoli. Takoj se javi France in pravi :
Imam 4 vprašanja za vas : Prvo – Koliko je znašala vaša osebna provizija pri nakupu Patrij ? Drugo : Za koliko boste prodali NLB in Mercator in kakšno provizijo boste pri tem dobili ? Tretje : Ali je res, da je vaš svetovalec za nemško področje gospod Marinič ? Četrto : Koliko otrok imate in ali zanje redno plačujete morebitno preživnino ?
JJ se presenečen in zbegan ozre naokoli.

Vidno si oddahne, ko prav takrat zazvoni zvonec za konec šolske ure in ravnatelj dijakom pove, da bodo nadaljevali s spraševanjem po odmoru.

Ko se spet zberejo, ravnatelj vpraša, kdo bo postavil novo vprašanje.

Tokrat se javi Mojca.
Imam šest vprašanj za vas, g.JJ… : Prvo – Koliko je znašala v vaša osebna provizija pri nakupu Patrij ? Drugo : Za koliko boste prodali NLB in Mercator in kakšno provizijo boste pri tem dobili ? Tretje : Ali je res, da je vaš svetovalec za nemško področje gospod Marinič ? Četrto : Koliko otrok imate in ali zanje redno plačujete morebitno preživnino ? Peto : Zakaj je prej zvonilo za odmor cele pol ure prezgodaj ? In šesto : Kje je naš Franci ?

Stara računalniška fora, zaradi lenobe objavljena v angleščini:

A well-known story tells of an executive who received a computer-generated bill for $0.00. After having a good laugh with friends about "idiot computers" the executive tossed the bill away. A month later a similar bill arrived, this time marked 30 days. Then came the third bill. The fourth bill arrived a month later, accompanied by a message hinting at possible legal action if the bill for $0.00 was not paid at once. The fifth bill, marked 120 days, did not hint at anything - the message was rude and forthright, threatening all manner of legal actions if the bill was not immediately paid. Fearful of his organization's credit rating in the hands of this maniacal machine, the executive called an acquaintance who was a software engineer and related the whole sorry story. Trying not to laugh, the software engineer told the executive to mail a check for $0.00. This had the desired effect, and a receipt for $0.00 was received a few days later. The executive
carefully filed it away in case at some future date the computer might allege that $0.00 was still owing.

This well-known story has a less well-known sequel. A few days later the executive was summoned by his bank manager. The banker held up a check and asked, "Is this your check?" The executive agreed that it was.
"Would you mind telling me why you wrote a check for $0.00?" asked the banker. So the whole story was retold. When the executive had finished, the banker turned to him and she quietly asked, "Have you any idea what your check for $0.00 did to our computer system?"

Neki dan mi je djevojka rekla: Hajde da vodimo sex kao na filmu!!!
Odvalio sam joj, šamarčinu, vezao je za radijator, izvadio ga, lupio joj kurcem
par šamara, jebao je u usta i svršio joj po faci i kosi... Nije bila najsretnija...
Hm, izgleda da ne gledamo iste filmove..

Končno uporabno navodilo za uporabo...

Protestira 5.000 ljudi u Podgorici (Crna gora) zbog nezaposlenosti.

Naidje jedan gospodin u crnom mercedesu, zaustavi se i pita jednog od prisutnih:

Jeli, a šta to radite? Ovaj mu odgovori da se bune zato što nema
posla. Gospodin izvadi vizitkartu iz džepa i kaže:

- Evo, možeš odmah sutra početi da radiš u mojoj firmi.

A ovaj reče njemu: Pa jebo te, gde nadješ baš mene od ovih 5.000 ljudi...

merjenje tlaka :ok:

Zgledno...